I’ve worried about him until I’m numb. Now, I’m unable to feel one way or another about it. He comes when he comes. He’s a big boy, nearly 18. He’ll be fine. I just have to accept the fact that I’m not number one in his life; I’m just the guy who gives him a place to crash. And I guess that’s okay by me.
There’s someone else who has a stronger pull than I do, some unknown force. I can only hope whoever it is treats JP well. And JP does seem well-fed, healthy. Even happy. Makes me wonder why he comes back at all. But then, maybe whoever is out there, drawing him away, isn’t filling the bill as papa. That's okay by me, too.
So, what role is this person playing? Friend? Lover? Pusher? Pimp? I could go mad thinking about it. Can't rest until I know.
Hm, seems I’m not as numb as I thought.
